Here is Novalie looking beautiful in her new dress Grandma gave her.
Monthly Archives:April 2009
This week, Novalie has added new attitude and new phrases. They go something like this…..
“I am not going to listen to you!”
“Don’t talk to me about it!”
“I heard you already!”
“Stop talking to me!”
“I am not going to do what you say!”
“NO! NO! NO!”
Oh, the joys of motherhood!
Novalie never went through what is referred to as the terrible twos. She was a happy, active toddler. Her first big tantrum that she had was when she was 3 at the library. I don’t even remember what it was about, probably not wanting to leave. We were standing in line with a big stack of books and she was screaming on the floor. I walked up to the counter, set the books down, grabbed Novalie and dragged her out. She got a very stern talking to and it was quite some time before she had another tantrum.
Now, bring on the terrible five’s! Novalie has meltdowns often – normal whining and complaining of a five year old. Yesterday, she had a full blown tantrum. It was impressive. I have been driving to the bus stop all winter to pick her up because you never know when the bus is actually going to show up and it is freezing and icy. Then I have been driving out of habit and there is so much mud. Yesterday, I walked to meet her at the bus. As soon as she stepped off the bus, she threw, with a lot of force, her stuffed animal on the ground and her back pack and started screaming at the top of her lungs. “I wanted you to bring the truck! I wanted you to bring the truck!” I sat her down on the bench and tried to calm her down to talk about it, but no such luck. Still screaming….loudly. I gave her a few minutes alone to calm down, didn’t work. So, I told her I was going to start walking home and when she felt like it she could start walking home. I turned around and started walking and she screamed even louder which I didn’t think was possible. I thought for sure people where going to start coming out of their homes, but no one did. I am sure they were staring at me through the window wondering what horrible things I was doing to my child. What horrible thing? Making a healthy 5 year old walk a few blocks home. Just horrible. When I was almost all the way across the field, she got up and started running toward me. She cried half the way home and then had to stop and take a rest. I just let her be until she was ready to get up on her own and walk the rest of the way. After a time out and lunch, we were able to talk about the situation and share ideas of different, appropriate ways to react next time.
The whole situation could have been avoided had I been thinking. She was sick (we have lovely colds at our house), tired, hungry and she does not adapt well to change. Had I told her that morning that when she got off the bus we would be walking home she would have been fine. A different child could look at the situation and think, I thought my Mom was going to have the car, but she doesn’t so we are walking, and that is that. Novalie looks at the situation and sees that her routine is different and it turns her world upside down. I know this about her, but the beautiful spring weather clogged my brain. Good did come out of it. We had a good talk and I was reminded that I know Novalie better than anyone and love her just the way she is.
Novalie and I were driving in the truck and she said, “Look Mom, there is a limo.” I looked and saw the Jerry’s Auto Repair taxi car and had to laugh. That is far from a limousine. It made me think of a life I once lived. From the age of 10 to 15 I lived in Huntington, NY. In a big house with a swimming pool and a tennis court. Not only did we have a tennis court, but we had a tennis pro come to our house for private tennis lessons. I can not even remember or count the number of times I have ridden in a limo. Going to the airport, coming home from the airport. Going to the city, coming home from the city. I can remember the face of our “regular” limo driver. I can remember always wanting to drink the liquor that was in the shiny crystal to feel even more fancy. I have been to countless Broadway plays and Met’s games. I have been to a real opera (hated every second of it). It was 5 years of living a very privileged life. And while those experiences were fun and exciting, the memories I cherish the most during those 5 years are the trips to Layton, UT to visit Grandma and Grandpa. Going camping with them is one of my favorite childhood memories. Beats Paris, beats London, beats Disneyland, Disneyworld, beats those 5 years of high class living. Not that those things were not a TON of fun and great memories because they definitely were and I am so grateful to have experienced them all. When we moved to MT, I felt more at home there then I ever did in NY. I am a small town country girl. If I never go to a big city again, I would be more than fine with that. I have my own privileged life now that does not need limos or tennis courts.
This makes me think of adoption. Kevin and I want to adopt again, of course, but the idea of “selling” ourselves for a birthmother to pick us is not our cup of tea. We did not have to do that with Novalie. That is why I am leaning more to foster adopt or international. We do not have a fancy house or go on fancy vacations. Our vacations consist of going to either set of Grandparents. Now, reflecting back on my childhood experiences as I mentioned above, those trip to Grandma’s are what I cherish the most. Unfortunately, we live in a materialistic society where importance has been taken away from the family. Flash money and that drives people. If I was to do a selling profile, I would be real, I would be me. I would hope to convey my experiences of what really mattered to me as a child and hope that playing in the dirt, love and a home built on the foundation of Christ were enough to build an eternal family. Maybe there is someone out there looking for that exact same thing. I can only hope we will find each other someday, somehow.
Wow, all that from an excited child who thought she saw a limo.