Monthly Archives:May 2009
We have a new pet which Novalie is ecstatic about. I was pulling weeds on Friday and out of the corner of my eye I saw something jump. I took a closer look and it was a little tree frog. How cute! We caught it and now it is Novalie’s pet. She named it Tiger Stripe Jolley, but calls it froggy. She carries it around the house with her so it can be next to her doing whatever she is doing. I have been catching bugs to feed it. Novalie loves her new frog.
I put curlers in Novalie’s hair last night for the first time. Well, I did it once when she was almost 2 I believe, but she didn’t have any hair and it didn’t work, so that doesn’t count. It was actually fun and brought back memories of growing up sleeping with curlers in my hair. Novalie slept in them fine, no complaining. This morning when I took them out, she was not a happy camper. Next time I won’t wrap them so tiny or so tight, but she still looks absolutely adorable! I gave her the option this morning of taking a shower to wash away the curls because she was nervous that her classmates would laugh at her and make fun of her. It actually turned out to be a good experience because we had a good talk about self -esteem and how we can react if people are mean to us. She decided she wanted to keep them and after school she said everyone thought she looked cute. Now, she wants to keep her curls. Here are some pictures, enjoy!
First of all, Happy Mother’s Day to my Mom and my Mother-in-law! Thanks for being my Mom and Kevin’s Mom and both our Mom’s. I love you!
For me there is always this expectation and pressure on a day like Mother’s Day or my birthday. Like it has to be this perfect day where nothing goes wrong and of course things go wrong and I wish we would have just treated it like any other day to begin with. For example, I walked outside today to sit in the sun and read while Novalie “washed” the car with water balloons. She was in her bathing suit and I was in my Sunday dress still. Imagine my surprise when she dumped a bucket of ice cold water on me as soon as I stepped outside. She thought it would be fun to start a water fight. It was only 65 degrees and I was in my dress and not thinking a water fight was so fun. That is the kind of Mother’s Day I love.
There are a lot of deep, emotional thoughts and feelings that I felt throughout today. I did not bring Novalie into this world, but I without a doubt gave her life. I was born to be her Mother. My heart aches on Mother’s Day for all those women who hurt today. I will never forget or pretend to forget the pain that is felt daily, but on this day the pain is deeper. I still feel the pain and anger, luckily not daily, but often enough, that I can’t just have a child on my time table. Then I feel guilty because I have this beautiful miracle right in front of me that has made me a Mother. My pain now is not entirely selfish because I look at this innocent child who wants a sibling desperately and I can’t give that to her right now (that is a whole other subject). Along with my feelings of great joy and great sadness today, I felt overwhelmed with a new deeper gratitude for Novalie’s birth mother. I didn’t think that was possible because the gratitude to her runs deep, trust me. Today a lady and her 2 daughters sang the most beautiful song I think I have ever heard and I was crying uncontrollably. I had to get up and go to the bathroom to just sit down and breathe and stop shaking. And during that whole song, I thought about this woman and how much I love her. It was just an incredible moment and one that I wished I could have shared with her. She is a miracle herself who made my miracle happen. She is my hero.
Every morning when I wake up it is my goal to help Novalie feel and know that she is a child of God. I am here to do whatever it takes to help her see and reach her full potential as a daughter of God. Novalie and I have a fiery, passionate relationship, so sometimes I fail miserably at this task, but at those moments I know Heavenly Father has stepped in and helped. I am here to teach, support, laugh, encourage, cry, play, be silly with Novalie. I pray every single day that I do not fail this beautiful child that God has trusted me with. I am her Mother. I will always be her Mother. She also is my hero. I hope she will always see me as her hero.
It has been awhile since I blogged anything. We have been so busy and yet I can’t think of a single thing that has been keeping us busy. I looked through our recent pictures to get some clues and they were no help. Novalie has played with her friends daily, is almost constantly creating something. We have so many papers around here with pictures and letters written on them. Novalie can fill up a notebook in a day with drawings and words. I started a stack that I will need to go through before long and just keep the milestone ones. For example, a letter Novalie wrote to me asking me to please, please sleep in my bed with me. The milestone is that I could actually read the long sentences. As for me, I have read a dozen books, kept the house clean (most days), got a tan (a fake one…I couldn’t stand the cold and rain any longer, so I bought some fake light), I play with Novalie a lot, read with her, create with her, play Wii with her, tickle time (which is her new favorite family evening activity). I hear Mom’s say a lot that they wish they would have played more with their children when they were younger. I won’t have that regret, I am sure others, but not that one which is a blessing. What I really need to do is yard work, but it has to be hot before I am going to get outside.
Today as we were walking home from the bus stop, we looked for new reindeer T-Rex footprints and clues. We do this every time we walk home. Novalie tells me that one dinosaur isn’t extinct yet which is the reindeer T-Rex. Today she wanted me to write down the clues and take pictures, so we went back out and documented the clues of today. Luckily, we live on dirt roads where tractors, 4-wheelers and trucks travel on daily, so there are always new clues.
Novalie made us pancakes for dinner last Sunday night. She poured them, flipped them and took them out when they were done all by herself. She did great and they were yummy.
I took a self portrait of myself and when I saw it on the computer I was shocked by the wrinkles. Wrinkles around my eyes and forehead. Where can I get botox? I will totally do it.